RIP Dad - A Tribute from Your Daughter

RIP Dad

Over 55 years ago my sister Jane and I lost our Daddy for the first time. Jane was too young to remember him but I did and I struggled to recover from the loss. Three years later, Mum met “Uncle Ken”. I remember the first time we met him. Mum had arranged to pick him up at the side of the road but drove straight past him and we had to point him out to her. He was slightly bemused by the time she eventually picked him up!

“Uncle Ken” was, in my eyes, an interesting man...and clever! He could tie his shoelaces with only one hand and he could eat with using just a fork! Jane tried to copy him once and ended up throwing her peas all over the kitchen floor, much to mum's annoyance!

I remember being really impressed that he was a Scout Master and he looked very handsome in his uniform. Jane remembers him frequently chasing her down the hallway because she forgot to put her slippers on – he was always looking out for us in the best way he could.

In spite of his disabilities, he could ride a bike and drive a car and it was never an issue to him. In fact, Uncle Jim, his brother, remembers him as a teenager on a long cycle trip to Filey from Wigan. On the way back, his brakes failed and they had to find an uphill road to slow him down! It can't be easy trying to stop a runaway bike with only one good hand.

After a couple of years Mum agreed to marry him. “Uncle Ken” asked us if he could adopt us as his own. We all agreed, and so, “Uncle Ken” became “Dad”. He was a great role model. He taught us to dance and to enjoy peanut butter and blackcurrant jam butties, and he took us away on exciting holidays where we made many new friends. The highlights for me were the midnight walks hunting for glow-worms!

Growing up with a new Dad was a challenge for me! I didn't accept him as readily as Jane did and I could be quite feisty! But, in all that time we only ever had one really bad fallout. Dad always insisted on us being home by midnight and I was late getting in. We had a massive row and I called him some terrible names and told him he wasn't my Dad.

The following day Mum told me how upset he was and I felt terribly guilty and apologised to him. He forgave me but it took me many years to forgive myself.

After Jane and I had left home and Mum and Dad were both retired they went off on many wonderful holidays all over the world and no-one can say that they didn't live life to the full. Dad was also blessed with four grandchildren, Kris, Mathew, Adam and Katie, and a whole troop of great-grandchildren of whom he was very proud.

Dad hated bad language! In the 52 years they were together, Mum says Dad never, ever swore..even when it hurt! I remember when we were sat together watching TV it was three strikes and then OFF! We used to sit there with bated breath hoping that the people on the telly wouldn't swear! Eventually,Jane got so used to him saying “turn it off” that she wouldn't bother to wait for him to say it!

We almost lost Dad a couple of years ago and it was a difficult time for all of us, not least Mum, but we were all so proud when he defied all the medics by making an almost complete recovery. They said he would never walk again, but he did! And the result was a few more years of life to share with Mum and the rest of us.

Dad was a truly remarkable man! He was totally genuine, humble and compassionate, wearing his heart on his sleeve. He never got angry, despite the frustrations of being ill. He cried a lot in his later years, even when he was laughing, or especially if someone had done an act of kindness for him, or told him a sad story. Whenever he celebrated his birthdays he always said he was 39 again and Jane made him a cake with it on for his 80^th...and he cried.

Our Dad , was one of the nicest, true gentlemen you could ever hope to meet. Generous and kind. So kind in fact that once, as a child, his friend couldn't go out to play because he needed a hair cut, so, instead of waiting for his friend's mum to do it – HE did it! Needless to say, his friend's mum was not impressed!

We'll all miss him terribly, but can take comfort in knowing that he lived a good life, full of love and happiness and when his time came, it was so quick he didn't even know it.

Goodbye Dad, go on your way with love. Thank you for everything you were and for everything you did for us. We will never forget you.